The Cheeky Song (Touch my bum)

For the second analysis of my choice, I've decided to do something unusual and ridiculous in order to amuse myself on this dreary day. One one such day in 2002, two pretty twin Romanian sisters in their 20s auditioned for a show called: "Popstars: The Rivals". One of the shocked judges was later reported to have said that they were: "the worst act ever!". Though their dreams of pop stardom seemed to be fading, the Irimia sisters, or: "Cheeky Girls" soon found themselves beset by record companies wanting to sign them. By the time they released their Debut single, which I am about to review, they were notorious in the UK as a result of their appearance on the show. Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the worst pop song ever:


"The Cheeky Song (Touch my Bum)" 






Cheeky girls
Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys
Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys

Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys
Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys

I never ever ask where do you go
I never ever ask what do you do
I never ever ask what's in your mind
I never ever ask if you'll be mine
Come and smile don't be shy
Touch my bum this is life, ooh

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

Hmm cheeky, cheeky
Cheeky, cheeky, cheeky

Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys
Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys

Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys
Ooh, boys cheeky girls
Ooh, girls cheeky boys

I never ever ask where do you go
I never ever ask what do you do
I never ever ask what's in your mind
I never ever ask if you'll be mine
Come and smile, don't be shy
Touch my bum, this is life

Unu doy trei si

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

Come and join the cheeky club
This is what you want
Come and sing the cheeky song
Our cheeky song woo
Come and join the cheeky club
This is what you want

Come and sing the cheeky song
Our cheeky song woo
Come and smile, don't be shy
Touch my bum, this is life
Cheeky, cheeky

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

Cheeky, cheeky


God, what absolute drivel. There is nothing good about this song at all. But wait.... Maybe there is some hidden meaning? Some concealed depth? "Ooh, boys, cheeky girls 

Ohh, girls, cheeky boys" x4 - I guess they're tying to rile up some teenager? That's what it sounds like. 




"I never ever ask where do you go
I never ever ask what do you do
I never ever ask what's in your mind
I never ever ask if you'll be mine
Come and smile don't be shy
Touch my bum this is life, ooh"

- Well, first of all , I have to address the glaringly  bad English in this stanza. It would be acceptable if the lyrics looked like this: I never ever ask: *pause* Where do you go?
But instead, it's all sung in one fast line, perhaps evidence of a lack of knowledge of the language on the part of the singers. 

Anyways, the song seems to be a message to some sort of unnamed man or boyfriend, telling him to calm down, and relax, that she's not intrusive and irritating,  that she's not going to bother him, and encouraging him to come over and... touch her bum. Yeah. 

That actually seems sort of sexist. Touch my bum? I mean, it's blunt, and vulgar. I find it odd that they're using the word bum, instead of a**, as most pop singers/rappers/ etc. seem to do these days. Perhaps they're trying (and failing miserably) to appear classy? What was in their minds, I'd like to know.

The rest of the song is basically a repetition of the beginning, more or less the same lines being repeated over and over again. 

With regards to poetic devices, it doesn't really rhyme. 

There's a bit of consonance with the boys girls things, but other than that I'm not really seeing much else. 

This is considered to be one of the worst songs of all time, 

and I wholeheartedly agree. 


Here's the video: